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The 2010 Christmas card, from Shutterfly


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Mommy Meme – Take II

The Mommy Meme – Take II. I asked my kids these questions in March 2009 — it was fun to see which answers changed…and which stayed the same.

1. What is something Mommy always says to you?
K: Sweet dreams, Baby Girl.
A: I love you.

2. What makes Mommy happy?
K: Hugs and kisses with cherries on top.
A: Being with her girls.

3. What makes Mommy sad?
K: Having to go on business trips and leaving us.
A: Leaving us.

4. How does Mommy make you laugh?
K: Pretends to tickle me and I laugh, then she really tickles me and I laugh more.
A: Tickles me to death.

5. What was Mommy like as a child?
K: Sweet
A: Sweet

6. How old is Mommy?
K: 41.
A: 41.

7. How tall is Mommy?
K: 5 feet 2.
A: 5 foot 1

8. What is Mommy’s favorite thing to do?
K: Have fun with her girls.
A: Seeing family and friends all together.

9. What does Mommy do when you’re not around?
K: Work.
A: Work.

10. If Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
K: She’d get two trophies. Best singer and best mom in the world. But the specialist one is for best mom in the world.
A: Best mom in the world.

11. What is Mommy really good at?
K: Loving her girls.
A: Singing.

12. What is Mommy not very good at?
K: Standing on tippy ties without wobbling.
A: Nothing.

13. What does Mommy do for her job?
K: Goes on business trips and asks people questions, and figures out what to do, and tells the government how to solve problems so they make better rules.
A: Work for the government.

14. What is Mommy’s favorite food?
K: Grammy Pam and Gigi’s food.
A: Everything home made.

15. What makes you proud of Mommy?
K: You always love people and love us and love to cook.
A: Always does stuff to help us.

16. If Mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
K: A puppy from veggie tales
A: A chef with big eyes.

17. What do you and Mommy do together?
K: Go to the movies.
A: Bike ride.

18. How are you and Mommy the same?
K: We have the same skin and hair and we both know how to read.
A: We look alike.

19. How are you and Mommy different?
K: I don’t wear glasses.
A: I’m not as great a cook.

20. How do you know Mommy loves you?
K: Because she comes up with great ideas and always shares her love with everybody.
A: She gives me hugs and kisses even when I don’t want them.

21. Where is Mommy’s favorite place to go?
K: Nonni’s.
A: Home.

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You’re all tagged for Meme Thursday. Repost this as your name followed by “ology.”

What is your salad dressing of choice? oil and vinegar
What is your favorite sit-down restuarant? Buckhead Diner. Kinkaid’s.
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? gross – none.
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Pasta, ice cream
What are your pizza toppings of choice? plain cheese; broccoli.
How many televisions are in your house? Two,
What color cell phone do you have? black with a red cover

Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? My wisdom teeth and my kids.
What is the last heavy item you lifted? About 30 pounds of bacon.
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? No
Have you ever fainted? Once.

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Molly, Kristin, or Tess
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? That I wear? 2.
Last person you talked to? my kids

Season? Fall or Winter
Holiday? Christmas
Day of the week? Friday
Month? October and December
Color? Red
Drink? coffee, red wine, seltzer
Alcoholic? red wine, though white is growing on me. Dirty martini. A really good G&T.

Missing someone? Yes.
What are you listening to? the stove fan.
What are you watching? Nothing right now
Worrying about? too much to do, not enough time to do it.
What’s the last movie you saw? Toy Story 3 in the theater. Infidel on Netflix.
Do you smile often? Yes.
If you could change your eye color what would it be? Blue, but mine have gotten pretty green/hazel over the years and I like them a lot
What’s on your wish list for your birthday? vacation.
Can you do a chin-up? exactly one.
Does the future make you more nervous or excited? excited.
Have you been in a car wreck? Yes
Have you caused a car wreck? No
Do you have an accent? depends on who you ask
Last time you cried? I laughed so hard this morning that I cried.
Plans tonight? no idea.
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Yes. But clearly I hadn’t.
Name three things you bought yesterday? tea, breakfast, eggs
Have you met someone who changed your life? Yes.
For the better or worse? Better.
How did you bring in the New Year? Stupid, over-rated holiday. Best spent with best friends.
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Maybe.
What songs do you sing in the shower? I don’t.
Have you held hands with someone today? no
Who was the last person you took a picture of? my daughter
Are most of the friends in your life new or old? a mix
Do you like pulpy orange juice? Yes
Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? a few weeks ago
What were you doing at 12 a.m. last night? Sleeping.
What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Why the hell are my kids up at 5:30 on a day there is no school?

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A Day in the Life

After a week in Florida with my dad for his back surgery (went well) and an unexpected 4-day business trip (for which I left for straight from Florida) this is my first night/day back home…

Thursday 3/24 7:15pm: “MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY YOU’RE HOME!!!!!”
Thursday 3/24 7:58pm: “Mom, we have cultural day at school tomorrow. We need to wear costumes from another country.”
Friday 3/25 6:48am: “You —  wear a lei; you’re Polynesian. You — carry this purse Wiz got you on her cruise. It’s from Panama. Put the bird whistle I got you from Peru in it. You’re South American”
Friday 7:03am: “Mommy, I broke the lei by accident.”
Friday 7:04am: <ties lei> “Here – it’s a shorter lei. It’s fine, you’re a shorter kid.”
Friday 7:05am: “Mommy, I want to wear my USA flag bandana AND carry the purse.”
Friday 7:05am: “Good job. Wear it. Now you’re NAFTA.
Friday 7:08am: “Hon, I have to go to work but there’s a bird in the house. Here’s a net; try and catch it ok?”
Friday 7:12am: Bird appears to be some sort of woodpecker.
Friday 7:47am: Catch and release.
Friday 8:00am: <wonders> Who decides, really, that you can’t respectably drink before noon…? It’s April – in college that used to mean Greek Week. And Sunrise ‘tails… Hmmm…
Friday 8:02am: God invented Coffee and Bailey’s for a reason…

Excellent parenting — one bottle at a time.

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Dear Easter Bunny

I would like you to hide the eggs outside and hard for us to find because it would be funner.

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I wish I could remember exactly how we created iMan…alcohol-induced silliness? A get-rich-quick scheme in response to the Dow being in the crapper? Spending a week in close quarters with DH and his best friend such that the similarities and differences between them yet again lit up like a Christmas tree? Hmmm. I can’t remember. I guess that’s what a week of no sleep and too much wine will get you. What I do remember is that after both envying each other when we observed appropriate responses in the other’s spouse that are sadly lacking in our own and lamenting the fact that neither man has mastered niceties such as lifting the seat,  Black Wendy* and I decided that men should be like iPods — you should be able to swap them and mix up their characteristics like iPod playlists. The best playlists are full of music from different albums, different artists, different genres of music…right?

We have lovely husbands, we really do. As such, they are well beyond issues like holding a steady job, being an involved parent, etc. So we don’t mention those sort of basics here. We’d not be writing this otherwise, because we’d be spending all our time at the law firm of This-is-Mine,That’s-Yours. However, who is satisfied with the base model? We’ve mixed up the best qualities our husbands possess and added some features they both lack in order to bring you…iMan.

In no particular order, iMan…

  • Detects full dishwashers, trash bins, and laundry baskets and associates and executes the appropriate action;
  • Cooks at least 5 recipes that do not include boil-in-the-bag rice, steam-in-the-bag vegetables, or store-bought rotisserie poultry;
  • Dances. For real. None of this white-man’s overbite crap;
  • Sees shades of grey instead of only black and white;
  • Calls you out on your shit;
  • Says I’m Sorry, and means it;
  • Is handy around the house;
  • Gives a killer massage;
  • Reads something other than comic books;
  • Likes to travel;
  • Knows how to “do nothing”;
  • Likes to do stuff and go places.

What does your iMan do? Let me know and we’ll keep building the list.

*Chillax. It’s how my then-3 year old differentiated between my two friends named Wendy – one a brunette and one a blonde; hence, Black Wendy and Silver Wendy.

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Wise Women. And Men.

Every now and then I am Wise. I am almost always a wise-ass, but only occasionally am I Wise. You know, those rare insights where everything is crystal clear and in laser-beam focus.  For example, one of the Wisest things I ever said was 20 years ago — a guy I was casually seeing was frustrated with me for not developing a more serious relationship instead of the emotional roller coaster I seemed to favor with a guy with whom not even I understood the infatuation (I’ll also point out that it is a huge sign of personal growth that I can just call him “a guy” rather than “an asshole.”) I remember saying “I know you are angry with me but someday I will have to live with the fact that one of the best things that will ever happen to me is happening at the wrong time in my life.”  Another example… Mrs. Roosevelt was Wise when she said something along the lines of “no one can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent.”

I can handle being Wise only occasionally because I have Very Wise Friends. I absorb and revel in their Wiseness when my own is lacking. But as I approach 40 I forget their wise words — and my own. So I am writing them down. Because who couldn’t stand a few more sage insights in their world?


Mean People Suck.

From one of my best girlfriends, Kelly…

No matter how much I may want things to be different, people will tell you exactly who they are – and it is your own fault if you don’t listen.

From my Great-Aunt Franny – another Wise Woman and someone I wish I grew up with but as they say, it’s never too late…

If I know the person being eulogized, I usually hardly recognize him/her from the tortured biography created by someone who didn’t know them at all.

My friend Carol…

Being called “logical” is not an insult, it’s a compliment…even if the observer is too illogical to realize it.

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