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On Being a Gleek…

It is a well-established fact among my family and friends that I am a total dork. My kids know it, my husband knows it, my parents are *proud* of it (I think they believed that dorks don’t do drugs or get pregnant in high school). One of my friends and cow-orkers once counseled, “you really should let people get to know you a little bit before you show them what a spaz you are.” Not only am I a dork, I’m a musical, theatrical dork — and have been since I was 8. If there was a chorus, a choir, a church folk group, community chorus, or a cappella choir, I was in it. The group in my office that sings spoofed songs at holiday parties and summer picnics? Yep. Every musical and drama from 7-12 grades? Dork, Represent! These days, I sing at weddings, funerals, and karaoke bars (and office parties — see above). I sing in the shower and in my car. Yes, I’m the girl sitting next to you in traffic belting out Total Eclipse of the Heart into my water bottle-microphone.

So it should come as no surprise that I fell in love with Glee! from the moment it aired. It’s High School Musical for adults. It’s living vicariously through TV to become, for an hour a week, the thing I wanted most as a kid yet lacked the self-confidence and drive (and probably the talent) to achieve — a musical theater star. It’s the biggest feel-good thing going on TV. It makes me Smiley McSmilerson on Wednesdays. [I’m in withdrawal, though, since it’s been pre-empted for the World Series. I was raised to believe the Yankees suck ass in general, but when they interfere with the only show I bother to watch on TV they move from blechy to downright sucktastic.] But I digress…

If you don’t believe me, check out the football team doing the Single Ladies dance and tell me you don’t Love. This. Show.

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I have *never* liked Country music. Ever. Not surprising for a kid raised in the Long Island ‘burbs, I guess. Most of my friends don’t like country music, either. Especially Black Wendy who, when her DH made her a lovely CD for Valentine’s Day last year, turned up her nose at it because it had country music on it. But then we found out that by Country music, she meant Jimmy Buffett — so her credibility in all things musical has slipped a few notches. Not to mention the fact that she *has* a DH who does romantic things like that…mine got me a knife sharpener for Valentine’s Day one year (yes, really.) But I digress.

Then I made friends who do like country music and I started to listening to it more, whether I like it or not. My friend Debbie says she likes it because she knows it’s generally kid-friendly and she spends a lot of time in the car with her 9 year old son. So I thought about it more and realized I like some “crossover” songs…some of the more mainstream Shania Twain and Faith Hill stuff, for example. And I love the Dixie Chicks. Oh – and God Bless the USA has been known to bring me to tears — for example, on July 4 2004…we were on the boat watching the fireworks and someone nearby blared it out on a CD player. I’m sure the alcohol helped, along with the fact that we were still all warm and fuzzy knowing that one of our best friends had recently returned home safely from his second tour of duty in Afghanistan and Iraq. But I digress again…

So I decided to give country music more of a chance. Often when I work late or drive distances by myself I will listen to country music (though this generally started because often country music is the only thing available when you’re in Radio Wasteland on the turnpike…) Anyway — I found a whole bunch of country music I actually quite like. Some I like because I like music that tells a story (think non-country stuff like Scenes from an Italian Restaurant, Same Old Lang Syne, Paradise by the Dashboard Lights, etc.). The Dixie Chicks’ Wide Open Spaces and Toby Keith’s You Shouldn’t Kiss Me Like This are good examples. Some I like because sometimes when I am feeling sorry for myself it’s a good reminder that things can always be worse (that’s most country music – no need for examples.) And some I like because — who knew? — it makes me laugh. Like this one (excerpted below)

‘Cause I’d like to see you out in the moonlight
I’d like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I’d like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I’d like to check you for ticks.

And this one (also excerpted below)

In real life the only time I
Ever even been to L.A.
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.

Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I’ve been in GQ
I’m single and I’m rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that’ll blow your mind

It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell ’em I don’t want nothing serious
’cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I’m so much cooler online
Yeah I’m cooler online

When you got my kinda stats, it’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in

Literally, I heard these the other night driving home from a late night at work and I almost drove into a ditch, I was laughing so hard.

DH is getting nervous…first I told him I wanted to shoot at the range to see what it is like. Now country music…go figure.

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