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Archive for October, 2007

Last Friday night we found ourselves with a babysitter and No Plans. Well, we had plans but I couldn’t make the logistics work (long story) and the kids were dying to see Big Meagan and I didn’t have the heart to cancel. There are always things to be done – I wasn’t too worried.

Just before we left the house, DH says “I can’t take it anymore. Uncle. I want to buy a TV.”

Understand, DH has been researching big-screen, flat panel TVs for literally 2 years. He can cite you specs, makers, models, features, prices, dealers…and can crosswalk it all any which way you like. Which probably explains why he can’t remember anything else.  With “eternal darkness” due to set in in a few days (and my mother calls me a drama queen??) it seems he just can’t bear another evening of ShantyVision 360, as we have come to call our TVs.

OK, I say. Whatever you like. So he says “let’s go to the Big Screen Store — they’ won’t have good prices, but you can see the different features and picture quality of the 3 TVs I’m considering.”

Dude, really? We currently have 2 TVs: a 13 year old CRT TV and a 10 year old 27″ CRT TV. I guarantee you — whatever you plan to show me is better.

So in 30 minutes I’m in the TV store ooohing and aaahing over beautiful pictures. And it turns out they have darned good pricing (who knew!) This is an area where I really do trust DH because (say it with me…) he’s been tracking this stuff for 2 years. OK, I say – go ahead…let’s get it.

And herein lies the issue.

In the 2.9 seconds it took me to answer what I thought was a Hail Mary call from the babysitter telling me to meet her at AAMC because the 3 year old found out the hard way her ladybug wings were fake, “it” went from 40″ to 46″.

DH could not figure out why I was appalled. “But you said the $500 difference wasn’t the issue, ” he whined.

Yes. Yes I did. Followed immediately by “The issue is that 46″ is just too damned big!”

You see where this is going…in a spectacular example of how not to stand your ground, I lost this battle in about 5 minutes — but not before DH noted – somewhat oblivious to the irony – that in fact, “size matters.”

And now you know what the “P” stands for in BigPTV.

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Life’s Lessons

Girlfriend just learned a hard lesson about organization and the consequences of the lack thereof. Giving credit where credit is due, Girlfriend knows she needs to do a better job here and, when her class self-administered a “self improvement checklist,” she identified two areas in which she wanted to do better: her take-home folder and consistently writing her assignments in her assignment book. And herein lies the source of this evening’s edition of The Wailing Wall.

She noted in her assignment book last Friday that she had some sort of test on Unit 1 some Thursday in November. Which subject? Which Thursday in November? Apparently, writing down that information would have spoiled the fun of guessing! My MommySense starts tingling (MommySense is sort of like Spidey Sense, only cooler) and I deduce that the test is probably coming up soon (I’m clever like that…)

What to do, what to do? Never Fear – it’s the 3rd Grade Website to the rescue! Sure enough, it’s a science test, THIS Thursday (don’t get me started on the injustice of making 3rd graders study for a test on Halloween…)

No worries – we can review Unit 1 tonight and tomorrow night. Except we can’t, because Girlfriend didn’t bring her science notebook home today. So guess when we’re studying? Right – tomorrow. Which means that I had the unpleasant task of informing Girlfriend that she will therefore unfortunately be trick-or-treating less than she otherwise would have. As you might imagine, this bit of information didn’t go over too well. So distraught were we, we screamed out from behind closed doors

“I HATE YOU! You’re the Meanest Mommy Ever! I’m going to shout at you like you were an ugly woman!!”

<note to self – work on fact that true beauty is on the inside and we treat all people the same regardless of how many branches on the ugly tree they hit on the way down…>

And then…it came. Girlfriend had a Grinch moment.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.
“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”

Girlfriend realized that if she had just been better organized and written down her assignments each day, she could have studied last night and tonight…and probably wouldn’t have to cut her Halloween fun short tomorrow.

My work here is done. For today.

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Say, Say, Say…

I might be investing in several magnets and stickers for work…

I’m not mean. You’re just a sissy.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Don’t take life so seriously – it’s not permanent.

I’m the Decider.

Sharp as a marble.

You may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one.

How about a nice big cup of Shut The Fuck Up?

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My fledgling organic whole food sensibilities are under attack and seriously offended. Beans’ school district has a new policy about birthday treats and other food for school parties: all treats must be store-bought! I understand and applaud efforts to reduce or mitigate allergic responses – which is what this is. But there has GOT to be a better way than insisting on prepackaged, processed, additive and preservative-laden, chock-full-of-HFCS foods. Blech. I know I can go to Whole Foods and buy A’s treats there – and I will – but I sure can’t count on everyone else to do that. And while she isn’t allergic to crappy, body-polluting food I don’t want her eating it twice a month at school in the name of a new “health” policy, either. Don’t misunderstand – I love cupcakes and am not advocating they be banned altogether. I just don’t like my children’s diet – or even portions of their diets – dictated by well-intentioned yet misguided nutrition policy.

On the other hand, Muppet’s preschool goes completely in the other direction and bans treats and salty snack foods in favor of “healthy” choices…which is fine except they define healthy as including cereal bars and sugary yogurts.

Where did the sanity go?

Clearly, on both scores I’m not the only one who is annoyed. Not even close.

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