1. What is something Mommy always says to you?

K: Use a napkin.
A: Clean up your room.

2. What makes Mommy happy?
K: Being nice.
A: When daddy does the dishes. Or having a cocktail after she’s done a lot of work and she’s tired.

3. What makes Mommy sad?
K: Having to be away at Boston.
A: If she misses my show.

4. How does Mommy make you laugh?
K: Tickles me
A: Doing tricks on me.

5. What was Mommy like as a child?
K: Like you are right now.
A: Like me.

6. How old is Mommy?
K: 17
A: 39

7. How tall is Mommy?
K: 18
A: 4 ft. 11″ (she shrunk me!)

8. What is Mommy’s favorite thing to do?
K: play with her kids
A: Play outside in the snow with us.

9. What does Mommy do when you’re not around?
K: Stay home.
A: Work work work work work.

10. If Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
K: The arctic ocean (meh?)
A: Singing

11. What is Mommy really good at?
K: winning stuff (??)
A: Having fun

12. What is Mommy not very good at?
K: Madagascar on P3
A: Coming up to bed and saying goodnight.

13. What does Mommy do for her job?
K: Work at Boston
A: Work for the government.

14. What is Mommy’s favorite food?
K: chicken broth (??)
A: Italian food.

15. What makes you proud of Mommy?with you.
K: Playing games
A: When she gets good stuff from the people who check her reports.

16. If Mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
K: Tom and Jerry
A: Minnie Mouse

17. What do you and Mommy do together?
K: play Little Big Planet.
A: We play monopoly.

18. How are you and Mommy the same?
K: Our hair
A: I look like you.

19. How are you and Mommy different?
K: you wear glasses.
A: I don’t go to work and you do.

20. How do you know Mommy loves you?
K: Because she’s been with me the whole time.
A: Because she is nice to me, and um, and you are always going to be there for me.

21. Where is Mommy’s favorite place to go?
K: Disneyworld.
A: Home with me and daddy and katie.

A and I were at the fabric store yesterday picking up some fleece to make a birthday present for a friend of hers. One of the reasons I think A was initially drawn to Maggie is that, like A, Maggie is not a girly-girl. No pink, no flowers, no bows and ribbons, no Jonas Brothers or Hannah Montana. A’s interests are simple and old fashioned and outdoorsy – animals, stuffed animals, skiing, swimming, hiking, camping, fishing (K, on the other hand, was clearly switched at birth. That child is all baby-dolls, dresses, and all hues of pink.)

“Maggie likes sports, Mom. And her favorite colors are orange, blue, and green.” So we look at fabric for Maggie’s blanket. I look at patterns I’d pick out for A; funky stripes in red, orange and brown;  polka dots; animals; snow. We carefully consider the wall of fleece; A rubs her face on bolt after bolt of fuzzy softness, passing quickly over anything that has a speck of pink in it. At the end of the row she says “this one, mama, this one,” tugging at a bolt of royal blue fleece with basketballs, footballs and soccer balls on it.  OK. Off we go to pick a coordinating solid fleece for the reverse side of the blanket. We find, we cut, we pay, we leave.  Awesome.

Except for the little voice in my head that piped up, upon first being presented with the blue fleece with balls on it, “really, that one? that’s a boy’s pattern!” 

WTF??  Where the hell did that little voice come from? We work hard to raise the girls without narrow-minded, limiting gender stereotypes. We teach them — and strongly believe — that they can be anything they want to be if they work hard and set their minds to it; that no doors are automatically closed to them for any reason. I believe so strongly in this it’s one of the reasons I left the Catholic church many years ago. We practice what we preach because it’s just the way we live. So why the little voice? Why was that the FIRST thing that came to mind? I’m saddened by that little voice. Yes, I carried the day in the end - my daughter has no idea that thought crossed my mind. Still – I’m pissed. When I was a little girl thoughts like that often translated into actions. I suppose it’s progress of some sort that I only thought it an didn’t act it or say it.  But when will that kind of thinking become uncommon — even for people who supposedly “know better?”

 ps:  The blanket came out great, in case you were wondering. How cute is this?

 I’m not sure if I am impressed or slightly disturbed — or both —  with K-child’s latest tome. She brought it home from preschool recently.

The Fire Ball — by K-child.

Sometimes people see hawks around the world. They are very interesting animals. They like to eat different foods like worms and birdfeed. And mice and rats.

The comets can come from space. Meteors come from many different worlds. Like Obama.

Like the One-Eyed Purple Eater. They can be three feet tall.

The tooth has many other ingredients than humans. Humans have two teeth. And very munchable teeth.

The meteor is about three feet tall. The big launcher is about two and a half feet tall.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

…

At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

“Let it be told to the future world…that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive…that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it].”

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.”

~President Barack Obama, January 20, 2008

I wish I could remember exactly how we created iMan…alcohol-induced silliness? A get-rich-quick scheme in response to the Dow being in the crapper? Spending a week in close quarters with DH and his best friend such that the similarities and differences between them yet again lit up like a Christmas tree? Hmmm. I can’t remember. I guess that’s what a week of no sleep and too much wine will get you. What I do remember is that after both envying each other when we observed appropriate responses in the other’s spouse that are sadly lacking in our own and lamenting the fact that neither man has mastered niceties such as lifting the seat,  Black Wendy* and I decided that men should be like iPods — you should be able to swap them and mix up their characteristics like iPod playlists. The best playlists are full of music from different albums, different artists, different genres of music…right?

We have lovely husbands, we really do. As such, they are well beyond issues like holding a steady job, being an involved parent, etc. So we don’t mention those sort of basics here. We’d not be writing this otherwise, because we’d be spending all our time at the law firm of This-is-Mine,That’s-Yours. However, who is satisfied with the base model? We’ve mixed up the best qualities our husbands possess and added some features they both lack in order to bring you…iMan.

In no particular order, iMan…

• Detects full dishwashers, trash bins, and laundry baskets and associates and executes the appropriate action;
• Cooks at least 5 recipes that do not include boil-in-the-bag rice, steam-in-the-bag vegetables, or store-bought rotisserie poultry;
• Dances. For real. None of this white-man’s overbite crap;
• Sees shades of grey instead of only black and white;
• Calls you out on your shit;
• Says I’m Sorry, and means it;
• Is handy around the house;
• Gives a killer massage;
• Reads something other than comic books;
• Likes to travel;
• Knows how to “do nothing”;
• Likes to do stuff and go places.

What does your iMan do? Let me know and we’ll keep building the list.

*Chillax. It’s how my then-3 year old differentiated between my two friends named Wendy – one a brunette and one a blonde; hence, Black Wendy and Silver Wendy.

Every now and then I am Wise. I am almost always a wise-ass, but only occasionally am I Wise. You know, those rare insights where everything is crystal clear and in laser-beam focus.  For example, one of the Wisest things I ever said was 20 years ago — a guy I was casually seeing was frustrated with me for not developing a more serious relationship instead of the emotional roller coaster I seemed to favor with a guy with whom not even I understood the infatuation (I’ll also point out that it is a huge sign of personal growth that I can just call him “a guy” rather than “an asshole.”) I remember saying “I know you are angry with me but someday I will have to live with the fact that one of the best things that will ever happen to me is happening at the wrong time in my life.”  Another example… Mrs. Roosevelt was Wise when she said something along the lines of “no one can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent.”

I can handle being Wise only occasionally because I have Very Wise Friends. I absorb and revel in their Wiseness when my own is lacking. But as I approach 40 I forget their wise words — and my own. So I am writing them down. Because who couldn’t stand a few more sage insights in their world?

Anonymous…

Mean People Suck.

From one of my best girlfriends, Kelly…

No matter how much I may want things to be different, people will tell you exactly who they are – and it is your own fault if you don’t listen.

From my Great-Aunt Franny – another Wise Woman and someone I wish I grew up with but as they say, it’s never too late…

If I know the person being eulogized, I usually hardly recognize him/her from the tortured biography created by someone who didn’t know them at all.

My friend Carol…

Being called “logical” is not an insult, it’s a compliment…even if the observer is too illogical to realize it.

It’s the darkest day of the year — the Winter Solstice. It’s cold. And snowy.

I’ve had a pretty crappy year in a lot of ways – I will certainly not be sorry to see 2008 go. My husband calls it The Year of the Bitch. Actually, he doesn’t but he wouldn’t really deny it if I asked him (though he is sleeping at the moment so I can’t.) I’ll not go on about it. You all know most of what happened, anyway. Besides, I can’t stand pessimism and mindless, endless complaining. I complain plenty but it serves a purpose — it moves me forward. Usually reasonably quickly though sometimes it takes longer. People who can’t get out of the Bitter Barn are toxic. Bitter people sap their own energy and that of everyone around them.  With that…

I am Queen of Silver Linings. Lemonade from lemons and all of that. The eternal optimist in me sees the many good things that have happened this year. The Fall (not coincidentally, when life finally settled down) was *glorious.* There is no better place than New England for holiday spirit. We have happy, healthy kids; good friends; good health;  close families; good jobs that pay well; a lovely house.

It’s the darkest day of the year — the Winter Solstice. It’s cold. And snowy. And absolutely gorgeous outside. Here’s one way I’m continuing to move on… a stolen meme that celebrates achievements and things accomplished.

99 Things (cross off the ones you have done)

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (I sang – I’m saying that counts))
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang/played a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language (does pig latin count?)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing (tried to — foiled by a hurricane.)
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (do crabs count?)
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Made a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

My kids have a saying for foods that are safe for their dairy-and egg-allergic cousin to eat… Jake OK!

As much of Christmas dinner as possible will be Jake-OK but I was struggling with the baked squash and pesto gratin. As it is Winter Wonderland-ing outside to the tune of 8-20″ (YAY for SNOW, SKIING, SNOWSHOEING, and SLEDDING!) I’m here doing a lot of cooking prep for the holiday this week. For those not blessed with either being born Italian or a Foodie, Pesto is a basil-garlic-nut-cheese paste that is often used as a sauce for pasta. Anyway – after combing the net and my own recipes for ideas I created this one and is is YUMMY *and* Jake O-K, and I wanted to write it down before I forgot it. Since Christmas is the season of giving, I’m giving it to you, too. I intended it to be all parsley but I mistakenly grabbed cilantro instead of parsley at the store this morning and just went with it.

Parsley-Cilantro Pesto

1/2 bunch of flat leaf Italian parsley leaves, washed and picked over

1/2 bunch cilantro leaves, washed and picked over

3 cloves garlic, peeled and quartered

1/2-3/4 cup shelled walnuts

kosher salt

1″ piece of fresh ginger, peeled and grated

1 tablespoon orange zest

1 slice of good-quality bread (1/2 a slice it they are large slices), crust removed and bread crumbled

good quality extra virgin olive oil

Combine all ingredients in a food processor and process for a few seconds. With processor running, pour in the oil in a slow, steady stream until a smooth paste forms. You’ll need to scrape the sides down a few times. I’d guess I used about 2-3 tablestoons of oil but I go by look/taste/feel more than precise measurements.

p.s.: You’re on your own, kid, with your daddy’s scalloped potatoes…there’s only so much I can do.

And because I can’t get it to embed here, you have to do it hte old fashioned way and click the link. Go ahead – it’s worth it.

Another “dictation” that came home from school the other day…

Mama,

I don’t like the green coat. I don’t like it because it’s really, really puffy. I  just can’t get around with it at school. It’s really difficult to do. I really, really, really don’t like my coat.

K.

p.s.: I can only move my hands a little in my gloves.